He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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