kristin has been a bad kristin
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
