Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
