I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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