THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
