Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
