No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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