Sry I called you an 8
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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