sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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