It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
