Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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