Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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