Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
