yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize