Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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