I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
