goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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