And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize