either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
