We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
