My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
