once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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