omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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