Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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