Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
