watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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