I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
