Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
