I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
