Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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