Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
this is an emotional support booty call
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
