we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
