Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize