Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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