i don't like sucking hair
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
