I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
