its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
