This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
two words...techno handjob
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
