i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pants are for mortals
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