the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
