you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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