I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
