there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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