Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Buhtt sex?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
