I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
