yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize