im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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