First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
