I'm gonna have a badass scar
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
