I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
