I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
