They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
