at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
