you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
