This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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