at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize