Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
