we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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