Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
